I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
