Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
