the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
