i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
