I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
