my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize