Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
This toilet bowl is my home.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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