what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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