garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize