If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
