My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
