quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Floor bacon is actually really good
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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