I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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