I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
