so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
