I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
