Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
