you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
