She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
