If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize