So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
