i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
