Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
