Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
