me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
