I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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