Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm too high and old for this...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize