i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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