C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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