well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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