She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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