If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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