I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
