I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
