Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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