I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
