R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
