Will you blow on my dice?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
