If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
