he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
