ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
