That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Randomize
