careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just tell him i said nine months
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize