I'm gonna have a badass scar
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
