i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
