god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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