we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
