We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
