i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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