But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
