She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
PANTIES FOUND
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