It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize