So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I am midnight drunk by noon
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
