you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
