I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I yelled at your uterus for you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
