we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
