i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
