I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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