I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
