weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
