i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
