I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
