So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize