sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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