You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
