Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Life is so much better after having sex.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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