was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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