I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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