Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
