3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
