i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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